My 8 Favorite Hank Moody Quotes (Californication) To Make Me a Better Writer
Over the past few weeks, I have binged watched one of my favorite shows: Californication starring David William Duchovny. As I have watched it, studying with a writer’s eye, I’ve found myself marking down many great quotes. The series is several years old now, but the protagonist Moody played by Duchovny has a way with words, style, and timing that doesn’t fade with age.
For the unacquainted, Duchovny’s Moody is a writer from New York City — who moves out to Los Angeles. In some seasons, Hank is stricken with writer’s block. In others (well, all of them really) his personal and family life teeters on the edge of destruction. Yet, through it all, Hank maintains a suave demeanor, as he’s simultaneously a genius and a train wreck.
My Favorite Hank Moody Quotes
Duchovny was nominated for a Golden Globe four times for best actor, winning once. His brilliance speaks for itself.
Note: The parentheses after quotes mean (season.episode) in case you want to find those moments.
“Despite the fact that I’m a swirling black hole of chaos I am pretty fucking awesome” (4.8).
This is Moody in one line. He’s a complete train wreck and the coolest guy in every room. He epitomizes the surprising power of going against expectations. Here, Moody uses the perfect image, a swirling black hole, to describe himself. And while we may not all be the simultaneous attractors of destruction and seduction, we can frame this to suit ourselves. While I (hopefully) won’t be in a situation to call myself a swirling black hole of chaos, I can verbalize my own dichotomies with this. Despite the fact that I’m a [poetic imagery], I’m pretty fucking [adjective].
“Is the chase better than the catch… Or some such cliché masculine bullshit” (2.10).
There are two things we should all agree suck: clichés, and misogynism. Moody takes a hard stance against both in a sarcastic, throwaway comment. The American colloquial tongue is loaded with tons of stupid terms referring to the conquest of women disguised within a sports analogy, the most basic being, “did you score last night?” Next time you hear some jabroni use one, don’t pass up the opportunity to call him out on his cliché masculine bullshit.
“I wanted to spend the rest of my life in the middle of that conversation” (2.10).
Perfect moments are rare. As a writer, finding a way to capture a perfect moment with a perfect phrase is even more precious. This quote is something we can all relate to — a perfect moment where everything just flowed. A moment where we would’ve been the happiest person on earth spending the rest of our life in. This quote has made me think about how I can, firstly, experience those moments, and secondly embrace them when they come. And then, of course, I’ll have to find a way to write about it.
“There’s something about every damn one of you. A smile. A curve. A secret. You ladies really are the most amazing creatures… Then she’s gone, and I’m haunted by yet another road not taken” (3.3).
Moody is a textbook example of what Robert Greene would call the Rake. The Rake is a seducer archetype in Greene’s book, The Art of Seduction. Greene writes of the Rake, “When he desires a woman, brief though the moment may be, he will go to the ends of the earth for her.” In this scene, Moody opens up about his seemingly insatiable desire for women. Despite all the scandals and accusations he goes through, he starts with the best of intentions, even though those intentions so often end in emptiness, pain, and regret.
“That’s part of your lexicon, really?” (1.5).
Sometimes, he just uses words I like. So I steal them and add them to my lexicon.
“Two people of the opposite sex can’t rendezvous after 7pm or it’s a date?” (2.9)
Rendezvous is just an underused, under-appreciated verb. Moody gives it justice.
“Into the chariot” (2.5).
Is chariot an appropriate synonym for cars on special occasions? I say, yes.
“I was hoping we could not think about reality for a while” (4.11).
Like Hank’s black hole-ish tendencies, reality seems to undermine him. He frequently tries to escape reality — with a one-night fling or dangerous use of drugs. This line struck me because I think it speaks to his ability to dream, to idealize the situation around him even when it’s so bleak.
“You do need a writer who can actually write, right?
The beauty of this quote is the repetition of “right” and “write” which gives it that witty flare. I stole this line for this Instagram post.
Bonus: Quotes from Karen Van Der Beek
A few of Karen’s moments have struck my core. Karen is Hank’s baby mama to Becca, his only real true love throughout the whole show. She shows a knack for words in her own right.
“You know me. The talking and fucking go hand-in-hand” (1.8).
This stuck out to me because I relate to it, and this part of Karen’s character aligns with mine. I will be stealing this word for word on many occasions.
“As much as I would love to soul-search with you, I need to go (3.4).
Like Hank’s yearning to escape reality, Karen is also enamored by soul-searching, idealistic thoughts.
Other Californication Characters
While Hank Moody and Karen spurned most of my favorite lines from the show, other characters, like Hank’s agent Charlie Runkle and his partner Marcy, from the promiscuous Mia and the rockstar Atticus Fetch. Even Becca shows a profound maturity towards the end of the show.
Whichever ones you’re drawn to, make note of their style, wit, empathy, and add it to your repertoire. Their “voice” can become yours.
Hank Moody’s Voice
Our voice — whether in writing or conversation — is the collection of all our experiences and wisdom. We, consciously or not, talk like those we’re around the most. As the adage goes, “You’re the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” This includes the language of the author’s we read and the lines of fictitious characters on screen. By studying language — written and spoken — we can choose to shape our voice, to mold it in the way that best suits us, taking a line here, adjusting, and then, consciously or not, inserting it into our conversations or writing. As I develop my voice both as a writer and a conversationalist, I haven’t found anything more valuable than deliberately studying those whose writing and oration I admire.
And that starts from my favorite writers like Salinger, Lethem, and Capote, to people I look up to like Derek Jeter and his knack for the vague yet charming postgame interview, and fictitious characters, like Hank Moody. To that, we toast, in the words of Hank Moody, to the blank page.
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