24 Lessons From Living 24 Months Without a Lease
The end of this month marks two years since I left my apartment in New York. These years have brought some of the most fulfilling, exciting, and challenging experiences of my life.
I’ve slept on couches, in hostels, guest rooms, my grandma’s basement, airbnbs, and even in trains, planes, and airports.
I have been to a total of 13 countries and 21 states.
It has shaped how I see the world in too many ways to write here. Yet, I thought the two-year mark would be an opportune time to reflect on what lessons have stuck.
If you enjoy this, I have written a few other reflections on my travels over the past few years.
Urban Backpacking: 49 Tips for Long-Term City Travel
Lifestyle Moneyball: 10 Questions for a Better Life
1. Choose depth over breadth.
In 2022 I spent a weekend alone in Madrid. I blocked out a whole afternoon for the Reina Sofia museum, with plans to try and see it all the museum offered. Once inside, I headed to where Pablo Picasso’s famous painting Guernica towered over an entire room. I knew the basic history of the Guernica since I’d already begun my study of the Spanish Civil War. Picasso made it in response to the bombing of the ancient Basque capital, Guernica, by Nazi planes.
I was stunned by the enormity of the piece and how each detail seemed to spawn more. Instead of seeing the whole museum, I spent a few hours with Picasso’s masterpiece. The museum closed on me.
Since 2022 I’ve spent a total of six months in Barcelona. I’ve chosen to return instead of seeing new places. I still haven’t gone to Venice, Amsterdam, or Lisbon. Some weeks, I didn’t even leave the borders of Gràcia, the Catalan neighborhood where I stayed two summers ago. Barcelona, like Guernica, seems to keep spawning more details to explore.
Thanks to this time, I’ve (nearly) mastered my second language, learned a third, and built lifelong friendships. Barcelona is a second home to me.
2. Traveling doesn’t need to be expensive.
Long-term travel has been the best financial decision of my life.
3. Plan, but know the plans will change.
In a chaotic travel life, plans are one of the few guardrails against chaos. However, for better and worse, they will change.
I have planned out months in advance down to the day.
When a concert in Italy was canceled after I had already arrived, I decided to cut my trip short and book a same-day train to Switzerland for a Neck Deep show the next day.
Last year I was in New York when my dad suffered a brain injury in a cycling accident. I canceled a Europe trip and came home to Vermont, where I spent six months between my childhood room in my parents’ house and my grandma’s basement, living a very unglamorous life.
This month, my girlfriend Shylin and I were in Barcelona when we found out her mom was diagnosed with stage 3 colon cancer. She flew home a few days later, and I left this week, a month earlier than planned.
As I’ve processed these unexpected life events, one of my biggest challenges has been accepting that all the plans and fantasies don’t always go according to plan.
4. Behind most sexy travel lives is a supportive family.
During my months in Vermont, I was reminded that it’s not all exciting travel stories and adventures. I suspect I’m not the only one who has been a “digital nomad” from their grandma’s basement.
5. Every place is fascinating.
Travel has helped me see how every place is fascinating. What grabs me could be a detail as minor as a regional word (like “Yinz” In Pittsburgh), a used bookstore that makes a place come to life, that one walkable neighborhood, a hiking trail, or a spontaneous conversation on a public bus. There’s magic all around us.
6. Reverse culture shock is a thing.
After landing in Boston at 9 pm, I was stuck on a 4-lane, traffic-filled highway with oversized pickup trucks you won’t see in Europe. It was an immediate shock to my system. So was the $6 coffee the following morning.
7. You can learn languages as an adult.
Traveling for me is synonymous with learning, if not always new languages, then at least new dialects, sayings, and learning about the culture that goes along with the language. You’re never too old to learn new words and fun sayings, and that’s only a few strides from learning a new language.
8. Minimalist life = less stressful life.
I haven’t checked a bag this entire time, and I’ll never check on again. I love the simplicity and nimbleness of living with a backpack. Owning too much stuff is a burden.
9. Traveling in your home country can seem even more foreign.
I won’t forget the broken glass in Birmingham, Alabama’s streets or how my accent garnered stares in a Jackson, Mississippi gas station.
10. The touristy stuff is generally overrated.
Do it once then never do it again. Or just skip it. There’s no prize for seeing all the tourist attractions.
11. Prioritize your interests over recommendations.
This year in France, we skipped every tourist recommendation outside of Paris and decided to go to a small city called Perpignan. Why? Because it’s the heart of Northern Catalonia, and as a Catalan speaker, I wanted to see if they really did speak it. It turned out to be magical, and I wrote about it here.
12. I’m happier when I speak more languages.
When my everyday life involves at least two languages (preferably three, like my life in Barcelona), I feel like I can fully express myself in every way my brain can. Even when I “settle down,” I’ll be looking for bilingual neighborhoods, whether that’s in Catalonia or the Bronx.
13. Take a trip other people think is insane.
Like when I decided to follow Neck Deep on tour via Amtrak from Boston —> D.C. —> Pittsburgh —> Chicago.
14. Take trips with friends.
Last year I went with my two best friends from college on a Civil Rights tour in the U.S. South.
Atlanta —> Birmingham —> Montgomery —> Jackson —> Memphis —> Little Rock.
Plan it now. Since graduating, it has become increasingly difficult to coordinate, so seize the opportunity.
15. Subtract.
To do the crazy adventures you dream of, you need space. I’ve turned down work opportunities, missed events, and skipped birthday parties to prioritize my dreams.
16. Traveling keeps me present.
When I’m traveling, I know each moment is precious. It has also flooded me with so many experiences that some weeks and months feel much longer.
17. Allow yourself to be happy.
I know most people never get to do what I’ve done. I’ve had countless moments where I have allowed myself to be happy. I’ve reminded myself there was nothing else to accomplish or strive for. I did exactly what I dreamed of. I had arrived. Those are euphoric moments.
18. Everything is a choice.
There have been days, whether I was in London or Lima, where I thought, “Wow, I’m in this random city because I chose to be.” In those moments, I remember how lucky I am that nearly everything in my life is a choice. Who I spend time with is a choice. What I do during the day is a choice. Where I am is a choice.
19. On this planet, we’re both guests and stewards.
Being in foreign countries, I know that I’m a guest. Legally, it is a privilege. I’ve tried to treat each place with respect, to leave people in better spirits because of my presence.
I’ve tried to bring this attitude everywhere, and it has been part of my inspiration to leave the planet and its people better off than when I got here.
20. Be aware of your impact, meditate on it, and own it.
At the same time, I’ve come to recognize that my traveling can often have a negative impact, despite my best intentions and kindest manners. As a frequent flier, I’m responsible for more emissions than 99% of people. When I visit countries with less money, my housing choice can contribute to the displacement of locals (see my experience in Medellín.) Choosing where I eat will impact which businesses thrive. Our personal choices matter.
I’m trying to make some different choices. For instance, I’ve set a personal flying limit, avoid Airbnbs owned by big real estate companies, and prefer to eat local.
21. Long-term travel is a consequence of our housing crises, and it’s global.
One reason I’ve kept traveling is because living in the U.S. becomes more unaffordable each year. I don’t want to just survive, I want to thrive, and I want to do so without selling my soul to the corporate overlords. Through traveling, I have been subconsciously searching for a home.
And this is a global issue. Locals from Barcelona to Medellín have told me about how expats and tourists have displaced locals, and those expats, like me, have come because of the rising costs in their home countries.
More broadly, traveling has made me aware of how everything is political. There’s no way around taking political stances and action.
22. Being a passive observer has shown me so much about the vision I have for the world.
Traveling has taught me that places don’t have to be how they are. They are that way because of the people who’ve lived and passed through a place.
We can have better transit (see Barcelona), more plants and nature within cities (see Medellín), walkable life in small towns (see Sant Feliu de Guixols), and tight-knit communities in big cities (see Gràcia). Being a passive observer of places and communities has inspired me.
23. I’m ready to be an active participant.
Even if I’ll always travel, my soul also craves to be the steward of a place, to be part of a community working to shape the world in a better (more plants, more community gardens, more trains, fewer highways.)
24. I can always go back but it will never be the same.
I’ve never been in a rush to see everything. I know I can choose to go back. Yet, the place I go back to will never be the same. Since I left, I’ve seen drastic changes in New York’s Lower East Side, as my barber and favorite bodega have been driven away.
In Barcelona, my friends continue to change and evolve, getting new jobs and moving to new places. It won’t be so easy to play board games every weekend forever. Every moment is special and will never be the same, and we should embrace and love them as passing moments.
I Don’t Know What’s Next For Me
Traveling has been indispensable in helping me learn who I am and what makes me happy.
It has shown me what I want to do with my life (continue to learn languages, fight for a cleaner planet, explore different places, and write about all of it.)
It has shown me inspiring communities already doing so much good, as well as the grim realities of our missteps.
I’m not sure whether I’ll “find a home” in the next year or whether I’ll keep traveling, but I do know I will keep learning and sharing about wherever life takes me. Viento en popa, a toda vela.
Update: I have found a home.
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